Dorks In Forks Part Deux

Continuing on to Seattle.

  • The drive to Seattle is shorter than I expected it to be. We stop at North something mall and I pick up some stuff for Steve but that’s about it.
  • Archie McPhee’s is awesome! So many things to look at and I want to buy everything.
  • I end up buying bacon, pickle, and cupcake toothpaste, bacon mints, a bacon air freshener, ranch mints for Melissa, a potato gun and bullet mints for Tyler, Monkey band aids for Shayla, and eggnog gum for Steve.
  • The bacon mints and toothpaste are disgusting. Surprisingly the pickle toothpaste is not bad, and the cupcake one tastes yummy.
  • After checking in at the hotel we walk up to the 5 Point Cafe. Steak sandwich is super yummy.
  • Instead of turning on the jets for the hot tub, I pressed the alarm button. Alarm goes off for at least five minutes as a cleaning lady helps us try to turn it off. Not a good start to the last leg of our trip.
  • The toilet in our room scares me. Every. Single. Time. It takes me until the last day of our trip for it to not scare me when I flush.
  • I try to outwit toilet by flushing fast. No use. It’s smarter than me and does nothing. I flush slowly and it scares me again. Damn toilet.
  • It’s so nice to be somewhere that people aren’t asking you if you’re there for Twilight.
  • Wednesday we go to Bellevue to meet my friend Ben. Finding his building was easier than we thought it would be even though we took a wrong turn.
  • Lunch was delicious and so nice. Ben gave us sort of directions to Kurt Cobain’s memorial bench. They looked easy.
  • Stop at the arboretum on the way and go for a walk. Absolutely beautiful!
  • Back on the way to the bench. Directions were not easy. We get lost three times. Back to Bellevue, to Kirkland and another try to Mercer Island. How we got there, I have no idea.
  • Finally find bench after an hour, by chance. It’s really cool and I take a ton of pics.
  • We get lost for yet another hour trying to find our way back and finally stop to ask for directions.
  • Then we get lost in Seattle.
  • Finally we find our hotel and a grocery store.
  • Twi-Whore and I are so tired and tense so we head to the hot tub to relax. We totally get cat called on our way through the lobby. The guy yells “Yeah!” and bounces in his seat clapping. We’ve still got it. We giggle and make a mad dash for the room.
  • St. Patrick’s Day we head to Pike Place Market.
  • For the second time in a week, I’m told I look like Liza Minelli. What. The. Fuck?
  • We go down to the waterfront, heading for the Curiosity Shop to buy Steve a shrunken head.
  • The gum wall was a bitch to get to, and I almost pee myself because I had to go so bad.
  • We have lunch at Fisherman’s. I got the Dungeness Crab. Oh my, it was good!
  • Back to the hotel. On our way, we spot Escala! OMG! We squee in the cab loudly!
  • We go back out later to the grocery store. I did not bring my camera, and we were right across from Escala! I was kicking myself.
  • I decide I’ll go out in the morning and take a cab. Wave to Fifty.
  • We decide to skip the Underground tour because we were both too tired.
  • We go out to The Blarney Stone instead. We had to pay $5 to get in and neither of us felt like being there. Twi-Whore orders a beer and doesn’t even want it.
  • After she finishes her beer we leave and are back to the hotel by 6:30 to watch Harry Potter. Both of us are so excited to watch it because we’ve been seeing ads for it all week. We’re old and sad.
  • Friday I go visit Fifty at Escala. We have our filthy, filthy way with each other. Don’t tell Steve.
  • Later we go meet Ben at the zoo. It was fun and familiar. So glad we could visit with him again.
  • We get sort of lost on the way back to the hotel from the zoo, but find a really yummy bakery, and a pub for lunch, with great food and horrible service. We both leave bad tips.
  • Back at the hotel we both have multiple foodgasms while eating our bakery goodies.
  • We have an early night, (well I do) and head home the next day.

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