Um…Yeah.

While browsing one day, I came across this recipe and thought it looked so good, and simple that I would attempt to make it. I had everything it needed except the cloves, which I procured from Mama Twi-Whore. So happily, I set up to make them.

After I made the filling and refrigerated it over night, I went ahead and divided them up into little balls. They were really soft so using spoons, I sort of shaped them into the closest thing I could that resembled balls. Into the freezer they went for a few hours to harden up. Four hours later they were still soft. Wtf? Whatever, I just wanted to get these things done. So I melted the dark chocolate to cover the middles and began to attempt to remove them from the wax paper lined pan. Why the fuck are they so sticky? Using a fork I scooped them up and into the bowl, covered them with chocolate, shook off the excess and stuck them on clean wax paper, and topped with sprinkles so they looked festive.

About 5 or 6 truffles in, the chocolate started to harden and get thicker so I returned it to the heat and melted it a bit. Why has no one ever told me that re-melting chocolate doesn’t work? All it did was make it hotter and melted the insides of the truffles, so that when I scraped off the excess, the middle stuck to the fork and therefore, the wax paper.

Being about half way through making the little shit balls, I decided to say screw it and throw the rest out. Now, I have festive little balls of shit, which look about as appetizing as lancing a cyst, sitting in my fridge, just waiting for someone to say, “Oh! Truffles! … Nevermind.”

I’ll stick to buying them thanks.

The good

 

The bad

 

The what the fuck?

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